Been on a date lately? The dictionary defines a date as: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. Basically, a date is planned time with the one you love. What makes a great date? Is it a romantic destination or gourmet food? Is it quality entertainment or warm weather? Those are factors but not guarantees for a great date.
A great date generates meaningful connection. But how?
Talk and touch.
The trick is that men and women connect in different ways. Generally speaking, women connect through conversation while men connect through physical touch. If both elements are woven throughout the date then both will view it as a positive experience.
Not all conversations are created equal. Actually, some topics are best avoided—or at least limited—on a date. One of them is kids. Hang with me for a minute and let me explain. I love children and agree they are important but women have a tendency to dominate the conversation with kid stuff. I know. I’ve been guilty of doing it. Parents should be engaged in regular discussion about their children’s specific issues; however, a date is not the time.
If you feel you absolutely must discuss the kids then set a time limit and stick to it.
The purpose of dating is to build the marriage relationship. Physical touch is a significant means of connection. Here are a few ideas:
- Hold hands
- Rest your hand on his/her thigh while driving
- Kiss (save the passionate kissing for private)
- Stand close to each other while waiting in line; arms wrapped around each others waist or his arms wrapped around her
- Sit next to each other in a restaurant when possible
When you get home—or to a private place—make love. It’s the perfect ending.
Then plan the next date.
I think it’s so important to plan dates with my husband. It seems like we are more in tune with each other when we date on a regular basis. It gives us time to reconnect without having to worry about every other thing in our busy lives.
An important factor in creating a successful date is to focus on each other. I know this should be a “given” but it doesn’t always occur. When you are on a date give ALL of your attention to your date. Don’t be looking around at other people or things when together. Your date can sense you are not connected with them and the mood will go flat. Look into each other’s eyes, smile, touch. You should feel your love growing and desire to be alone with each other more often.
Be Blessed!
Good input. I agree. Nothing is worse than being ignored on a date!
With two very small kids our definition of “date” has broadened considerably. My husband is a middle school teacher who also chaperones the ski bus in the winter. I can leave the kids with my parents, drive up and ski with him. We get lots of time to talk on the chair lift-they are ridiculously slow. We get to ski together which we like doing and doesn’t have anything to do with our life responsibilities. And we also hang out for awhile in the lodge and talk with students. They get to see a reasonably healthy married couple interact and be together and we get a considerable amount of time together as he gets paid to work….doesn’t get much better than that! But it’s definitely not your “normal” idea of a date!